9-TEEN!

Photo: My friend's 18th birthday last year...

If I could make out with Mike He, then I don't think I'd be singing Landy Wen's "Wish Me Happy Birthday" song. Go watch the MV if you don't know what I'm talking about.

Anyhow, I'm 19!! :DD

Well, to be technical and all, I'm 19 at 2:30pm... but hell! No one really goes by their actual birth time anymore! Today, I received something in the mail from my parents. I've been waiting to open it up at Midnight, and so the clock finally struck 12! It's one of those singing cards! Outside, it says "Smiles you give, Joy you live, Love you bring..." Inside, "Beautiful thing. Happy birthday to a daughter who's so easy to love. Mom & Dad." And then, it started singing "My Girl" by The Temptations! Oh man, I just bawled!!

I LOVE YOU, MOMMY & DADDY!

I need more photos with my parents! In the future, I plan on taking as many photographs as I can with my parents or just of them! I mean, why haven't I? They're just such a big part of my life! And photographs keep memories intact! :D

On a side note, do you know what I spent my last hour of being 18 doing? Something very um, unusual. I did my House chore for the week... cleaning the bathroom! -_____-;; Yeah, so my house mates started making this chores list thing where each person has a certain job, and my chore for the week is to clean the bathroom. So, earlier I had taken a shower and I was thinking... might as well just clean the bathroom so I don't have to do it later! It's freak'n filthy! And so, I cleaned. How sad~

Well, anyway! After classes, I have to deposit the rent money from my house mates so I can write a check for May's rent! My last time having to do that for this school year! After May, I'm out of here!! Woot! Freeeeeeee!! Haha, then my roommate and I are going to Ben & Jerry's and enjoying their free cone day thing! FYI, Ben & Jerry's 30th birthday! I didn't know they opened on my birthday! Yay! You know what that means, FREE ICE CREAM ON MY BIRTHDAY, EVERY SINGLE YEAR! WHAT A LUXURY! Okay, so after that, I have to go home, call my mom up so she can tell me what I need to change on my speech for Saturday's big competition. Then, at 6:45pm... my friends have organized a little get together for my birthday! I'm really excited! They are so sweet! I really had no idea they would actually plan something to help celebrate my birthday! It really makes my day and it doesn't make me feel so sad about not being able to spend my birthday with my family!

Um, and in the near future...
Thursday: Indian food with John & Reto (late birthday celebration)
Friday: Move to John's place to dog sit until May 12th.
Saturday: Mandarin speech competition #2 (where I have to sing "Wei Yi"...*pray for me*)
May 14th-??: Finals!

Le Risque

We didn't go to Oakland for our "photoshoot." In fact, I didn't take any photos... instead, we went to the Mission district and after several thrift and 99cent stores, I found my shirt. Boy Scouts of America official shirt! Wooo!! :D It's a little snug, but I don't plan on buttoning it. I'll just wear a tank top underneath or something. What I really like about it is the decoration on it... all those patches! Eheheh...

Anyhow, not really sure when I'll ever get my chance to go to Oakland, but I guess I can always go visit Kathy if I ever decide to go by myself...

So, I really like the Post Secret France blog and it was just updated. This is my favorite for this week: "I would love to be able to take the risk to be (un)happy."I really don't have much to say right now... I just hope that my parents will let me try to do this other speech competition I want to do, which just happens to be the week after my first one. Of course, this one is an even bigger competition and one of the sponsors for it is the HUNAN channel which is my FAVORITE CHINESE CHANNEL!!! I really want to do it because if I'm one of the top 3 winners, then I will be able to go to the semi-finals and finals and it will be in CHINA! And, better yet... in Hunan province... and since the Hunan channel is sponsoring... MAYBE I WILL GET TO SEE THEM!! :DD Them... as in these guys that I really really like from this show! Su Xing & Wei Chen... Haha... ><" But of course, the timing is just bad if I do win because, it's during the SD Fair and well, I have to help my mom out at her booth. Ugh! But, gosh... if I win, I can get scholarship money for studying in China and I really want it! *Sigh* Please Buddha, convince my parents to let me do it! The application is due this Friday, April 25th!! *crosses fingers*

Spring Break Pt.1 & 3/4

I'm not double majoring anymore. I had a long talk with my parents and they're fine with me not majoring in Business (Marketing). What a relief! 

Though it seems like everyone has so much faith in me becoming a great designer, but I feel like I lack that faith in myself. I don't want to be a disappointment to people, but for my own sake, I will try my best!! And sleep less. 

Yesterday night when I got back, I had an amazing time meeting up with Yan and Patrick. We went to watch Horton Hears A Who, which was a GREAT movie! I loved it! So, if you haven't seen it, I definitely recommend it! Yes, and then we went over to Yogurt World and had yummy Pistachio yogurt with mochi! Yummmyyyyyy~~ Heheh... Okay, that's all I have to say. Bye bye!

SPRING BREAK!

I'm going to be back in San Diego tonight! Yay!

I don't have any must-do plans for my Spring Break, but I do hope that I will be able to spend a lot of time sketching and taking photographs. Gosh, I haven't done sketching in so long... I even bought a new sketchbook six months ago, but I never used it. I think it's that whole mindset I have about ruining stuff that is NEW. Whenever I buy new stuff, I always end up just admiring it and never really USING it until I absolutely have to! So, I want to fill my new sketchbook with my junk! Hahah... right... Anyways, yeah.

I'm at a point where I haven't found anything new to be inspired by. Maybe if I revisit my favorite hot spots in San Diego, I'll be able to find something. Whatever happened to just looking at the clouds roll by and seeing formations of happy faces from the most strangest objects. Okay, well I still enjoy those things, but. It's not the same. It looks like I really am growing up. All thanks to my decision of attending college in San Francisco, away from my little bubble. =] I've really learned a lot from this experience and as if I thought that I was independent before... WELL NOW I REALLY AM! I also realize how much I'm starting to resemble my mother, which is a little scary... but nice at the same time because my mom has some really great traits that I'd like to possess. I'm talking about personality... I don't think I look like my mom yet. Though, she definitely is pretty! =/

Hmm, another thing I'm starting to wonder is whether I still want to study abroad. I really do want to, but I don't know if I should really do it and whether China/Taiwan has the program for my major. I think learning Mandarin this year was a great idea. It has helped me fill up the gaps in my identity crisis and though, I still haven't fully grasped my identity, I feel like if I were to study abroad in China, I'd be able to at least understand my Chinese heritage and maybe my heart will feel more at ease knowing that I can embrace both cultures. My goal is to become fluent in Mandarin and semi-fluent in Cantonese, speaking-wise. We'll see how that goes, but I know that for sure... I'm not going to let my Chinese heritage slip away when I have children? Haha, it's a little too early for me to talk about having kids... heheh. Though, my kids... they are either going to go to Chinese school on the weekends or China in the summer to visit my parents (when they do move over there...)! Yeah, life's unfair, kids. But you'll appreciate it later! --> See! See, I told you I'm like my mother now.

Alright, well! I hope everyone has a great Spring Break! Whether it be catching up on sleep, hitting the slopes, MTV spring break party??, or just chilling at home! Just hope you guys have tons of fun! :D Bye bye for now, San Francisco. Hello, San Diego!

Grace makes the sun shine!

Grace Lee has come and gone. ='[ I'm starting to miss her already... I hope she had a good time while she was here and didn't go bankrupt from all the places we went!
Friday: Clubbing with my SF State buddies! Creepy guys who like to surround you until you can't escape the dance floor... but good thing, we were a big group and pushed them away! Ewww... disgusting pervs! But still, it was fun! And I don't plan on wearing heels again... just sneakers! :D

Saturday: Met up with Kathy Shih (she's so cute!). Ate at Carl's Jr. Went shopping downtown! Spent lots of moo-lah, but then realized my checking account couldn't afford it. =[

Sunday: Haight & Ashbury. Grace got her nose pierced again. Ate Mexican food (ehh... it was okay. It's better where I'm from... sorry!) Watched "The Cutting Edge 3." Made felt mascot dolls! :D

You know something I realized, my friends are all completely different than me, be it personality, appearance, age, experience, likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc. And you'd think that it would be difficult to have a good bond between them, but I really like it because I'm not stuck with people who are exactly like me. If there were people out there like me, they must be pretty boring on a regular basis. The fact that each friend is unique makes me feel like I am able to learn more while at the same time, being a good friend and developing an open mind for people. I mean, sure there are things that I don't approve of that some of my friends do, but they're still my friends. And, it shouldn't matter if I approve or don't approve because they should have full control of their own life. That's how they want to live their life, let them. You can't change people, they can only change themselves, if they feel that they must. And they should only change if they want to! That being said, I miss my friends. I miss being able to hang out with people on an everyday basis because I'm too busy being my boring self and always having to study study study since I restrict myself from doing anything that lets me feel a little bit of satisfaction. AI YA!

Anyhow, I'm feeling charged and ready to get this week done with a nice finish! Yes, I plan on doing exquisite on my midterms! JIA YOU! :D That way... I can go back to San Diego and enjoy the lovely comfort of my home with a carefree attitude! And let my parents tuck me in bed and kiss my forehead to say good night... and actually be able to see them in the flesh when I say, "I love you, Mama! I love you, Baba! Goodnight!" Yep, I know I'm almost 19, but I still like it when my parents tuck me in bed. Sometimes they think I don't pay attention to what they say, just like the way I think they never listen to my opinion, but! When they said that the time I have right now, before I have to make my own income... before I get married and before I have to look after children, is the most comfortable time of my life... I think they're right!

Looking for love?

My Chinese class assignment is to make a... um... well... "love" advertisement for a Chinese newspaper. Yeah~ Haha, she said an advertisement for your friend, but technically I'd say my advertisement is somewhat like me? Well, maybe not because if I had to specify characteristics of a guy I would want to find, it would probably have a longer list of things, but since my Chinese vocabulary isn't up to standards, this will have to suffice...

Plus, he must be like an Asian drama character! ;D

---

I feel so bad for getting mad at my mom for no reason when I was on the phone with her this morning. She's always asking me if I've visited/talked to my brother, losing weight, graduating early (grad school?), HOUSING NEXT YEAR... like, I keep telling her that I can't look for housing until Summer time, but as always she replies with... "Well, you were the one who chose to go to San Francisco..." Ugh! Like THANKS, MOM!~ Yeah, I did choose to go to San Francisco because I'm too reliant on you guys and I can't be sheltered from the world for the rest of my life! 

Every time she mentions something about going out to look for places... it just builds more stress over what I'm going through right now. Maybe all this stress I've been building up is because I'm taking way too many units, not getting enough rest, and being sick! I guess next semester I will try to cool down with that. But, I mean... I am double majoring and if I want to graduate on time, then I need to take a heavier workload. The workload is manageable, I just need to use my time more wisely. After all, it is my decision to double major, like I suppose my parents wouldn't mind me just doing a single major and graduating a year early and then going off to MBA program. But knowing them, they probably would want my major to be Business-related! And, unlike some people I know (no offense to them)... I can't get myself to commit only to my parent's wishes, as much as their opinion means a lot to me. So, to me... I have to double major and I want to! Plus, I feel like if I were to only do one major, then this semester would be a complete waste of my time. I don't know, that's just what I think?

I think I'm just way too hard on myself than I need to be! Ugh! Why do I give myself such high expectations that I know it's barely possible for me to accomplish?!