Missing home?

I miss home.

But the thing is, I technically AM home! It just feels way too different! My parents are in China for business trip and there's this huge dog cage in my hallway, blocking the doorway of my room! I'm puppy-sitting for my brother and his girlfriend. So, right now... this so-called "home" that I am currently residing for is no longer home. I think this sort of thought is mainly because my parents aren't home to welcome me back...

On top of that, my room is a huge mess! And, it's driving me nuts, but I'm feeling so lazy right now that I'm not doing anything about it, but I probably will start cleaning and organizing tomorrow (if I wake up early). I'm an organizing freak!

I signed up for a summer school class. I'm taking Drawing & Composition. So, just basic drawing. I need to improve on my drawing skills and it's one of the things I need to take for a pre-req for something I plan on doing. I don't want to go into detail, but don't worry! You'll find out soon enough... sorry to be all mysterious, I know some people hate that. Yeah, so according to the Assist website, I don't think I can transfer the credits, but then on the community college website it says that it's accepted by UC and CSU schools. Hmmm, well I'm going to take it anyways, but if I don't get credit, I don't think my parents will be too thrilled about that since classes start around the same time as the Fair and I have to help out my mommy, or more like, "I'm in charge this year" so I have to balance making enough money for 08-09 school year and learning how to draw. I hope my drawing skills improve this summer or how else will I achieve my goal of becoming a designer?!!

Okay, well here's a photo of the lovely monster, Audi.

Fun in the Sun!

I'm not sure whether or not I should be proud of myself or really worried that I am wasting money... I went through 3 rolls of 36exp. film today, on my little photo field trip with my friends, Bryan and Xiling! And this little trip to Encinitas beach was so BOSS! :P I'm still so amazed that Bryan actually let me play around with his DSLR! I don't know very many people who would let me do that since their camera is like their "child." Haha and on top of that! He lent me his Tamron 70-300mm Macro lens, to use on my SLR! Woooo! Thank you so so SOOOOO much, Bryan! We will for sure have another photo field trip soon and maybe I can snag my brother's DSLR! :D

I'm still unsure of what my Final Project theme for my Photography class will be. I'll probably end up doing something abstract, graffiti-ish, lots of words in the photo, or night photography. That seems to be what I usually end up taking photographs of anyways. =/ Oh! I was watching one of the Chinese channels we get on the satellite and there was this whole interview segment about this Chinese guy, Chen Hai-Wen who I guess went around China and took street photos. His work, I thought, was really impressive. I guess he made it into a book and I'm sure he probably put it on exhibit as well... he called it "幸福生存 A Happy Existence." I couldn't find too much information on him on the world wide web, but when I go back to China, I'm looking for his book!

Aside from that, I told myself that I was going to be super productive this Spring Break, but I still feel like I have not accomplished all the things I wanted to do! Better get a move on it, Amy! Well, at least I started messing around with that sketchbook of mine! =] No actual sketches yet, but there will be plenty to come soon! Yay! Oh. So, it looks like I'll be taking Summer school still this summer, even though I don't plan on double majoring anymore. Yeah... but it will be for fun. Art classes! :D

SPRING BREAK!

I'm going to be back in San Diego tonight! Yay!

I don't have any must-do plans for my Spring Break, but I do hope that I will be able to spend a lot of time sketching and taking photographs. Gosh, I haven't done sketching in so long... I even bought a new sketchbook six months ago, but I never used it. I think it's that whole mindset I have about ruining stuff that is NEW. Whenever I buy new stuff, I always end up just admiring it and never really USING it until I absolutely have to! So, I want to fill my new sketchbook with my junk! Hahah... right... Anyways, yeah.

I'm at a point where I haven't found anything new to be inspired by. Maybe if I revisit my favorite hot spots in San Diego, I'll be able to find something. Whatever happened to just looking at the clouds roll by and seeing formations of happy faces from the most strangest objects. Okay, well I still enjoy those things, but. It's not the same. It looks like I really am growing up. All thanks to my decision of attending college in San Francisco, away from my little bubble. =] I've really learned a lot from this experience and as if I thought that I was independent before... WELL NOW I REALLY AM! I also realize how much I'm starting to resemble my mother, which is a little scary... but nice at the same time because my mom has some really great traits that I'd like to possess. I'm talking about personality... I don't think I look like my mom yet. Though, she definitely is pretty! =/

Hmm, another thing I'm starting to wonder is whether I still want to study abroad. I really do want to, but I don't know if I should really do it and whether China/Taiwan has the program for my major. I think learning Mandarin this year was a great idea. It has helped me fill up the gaps in my identity crisis and though, I still haven't fully grasped my identity, I feel like if I were to study abroad in China, I'd be able to at least understand my Chinese heritage and maybe my heart will feel more at ease knowing that I can embrace both cultures. My goal is to become fluent in Mandarin and semi-fluent in Cantonese, speaking-wise. We'll see how that goes, but I know that for sure... I'm not going to let my Chinese heritage slip away when I have children? Haha, it's a little too early for me to talk about having kids... heheh. Though, my kids... they are either going to go to Chinese school on the weekends or China in the summer to visit my parents (when they do move over there...)! Yeah, life's unfair, kids. But you'll appreciate it later! --> See! See, I told you I'm like my mother now.

Alright, well! I hope everyone has a great Spring Break! Whether it be catching up on sleep, hitting the slopes, MTV spring break party??, or just chilling at home! Just hope you guys have tons of fun! :D Bye bye for now, San Francisco. Hello, San Diego!

Oh, how I miss home so...

I miss everything about my SD home! I most definitely miss my whole family! But, most of all, I will forever miss seeing my cat, Pochacco, at the doorway waiting for me to return home. That is something that I'll never get to see again at home. And I wish I could, but now the only thing I have now is picturing him in my head at my door and all his favorite spots around the house...

Something I'd like to know is, as time passes by, will I soon forget about all the sorrow I felt when I realized that I'd never see him in front of my eyes again except for in pictures? Because as of right now, I can still feel the same emotions running through me the day he went to "Hawaii" to see my maternal grandparents... ='[

<3!