I want to address two things:

1. I appreciate that you thought of me when you were throwing a party or some sort of social gathering, it's not that I don't like you... I'm just not really into parties. As pathetic as it sounds, I like staying in my room and doing work or watching Asian dramas.

You may think I'm being a party pooper or I'm not living my life, but that's your personal opinion, not mine.

2. If you hadn't noticed before, I do have body image issues. When you say things like, "Oh! I need to lose weight... I'm so fat." I just want to smack you in the face... do you know what you're saying??! Look at you! You look pretty thin to me! I'd love to be your size! I know most girls feel insecure in their own skin, so they make comments such as these... I'm definitely not one to talk, but it would be nice to see more girls who are confident in their body and maybe it would give me some confidence in my own body. 

I weigh myself every week. And, since I've gotten back to school, I have gained 2 pounds, which makes me a little frustrated. I need to cut back on food again. Y'know last year I made excuses to people saying that Oh, I forgot to eat because I've been too busy with school. That's not exactly true. I've just chosen to not eat. I know that if I don't deal with this soon, I'm going to have an eating disorder and I'll probably never be happy with myself. But... I feel like social pressures are getting to me. I really need to lose weight.... 

Becoming a Woman: Before

"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn." ~Alvin Toffler

What my Honest Tea "Peach Oh-La-Long" beverage cap said. How very true, indeed.

Not sure where to start but looks like I won't have to be stressing any longer, over next academic year's housing! Thank you, Buddha. :D I'll be living with 4 of my good friends that I met last Fall. Phew! The search is over! Yesterday, I wrote on my xanga (rarely used):

如果你知道的话，那你会不会改变你的主意？
我知道爸妈应该不会让我跟她们来往。
可是怎么办？我已经跟她们说好了。
哎呀！这个答案真的真的很困难。
该说什么才好？？
帮我吧！

Why did I write this? Because I was unsure of whether or not I wanted to live with them since they do things that I don't really approve of, but yeah.... they are still my friends because they are great people and I trust them. 我跟妈妈讲她们喝酒的事，可是没跟她讲别的事。我真的不想跟父母说谎，可是如果不跟朋友住，那我父母会担心我没找到住房。跟她们住，不但比现在的住房便宜，而且也很靠近学校。如果朋友被警察抓到的话，那我就完蛋了！Let's hope they don't since I guess a lot of people do it in college. *crosses fingers* ='[

So remember how I said that I wanted to make myself prettier or well, learn how to dress better... to look more mature and stuff like that. Yeah, well yesterday afternoon I went with my friend, Chelsea to Ross! :D I bought these 1" heels. They're so cute! Plus, I thought it was time I learned how to walk in heels. So, today I went over to visit my brother, John, to celebrate his 29th birthday early (Tues) with him and I decided to wear them and see if my brother noticed because ever since I can remember, John has been trying to get me to wear cute, girly shoes and I always preferred my sneakers.

Did he notice? Yes, he did!! My brother's response = "Omg! You're wearing heels?! Does Mom know that you're wearing heels now? If she did, she'd probably laugh because we have always been trying to convince you to wear some and you always turn us down for your street shoes... Wow! The city has turned you into a woman!"

I guess a minor change in appearance really does have a big effect. I guess I'll be gradually learning how to be a "woman"... as he says. Thanks, San Francisco. No, seriously~ Thanks! :D

Natural Beauty

Trying to learn how to put on makeup... what a nightmare! I know, probably every girl knows how to wear makeup except for me. How sad how sad... ='[

I didn't think makeup would make much of a difference. I mean I still feel that some girls wear way too much makeup and it just makes them look worse!! Plus, I'm not one who wants to be dependent on something to make myself pretty. I like natural beauty. But, maybe it can't hurt to try it anyways and it seems like natural beauty usually involves a little makeup as well. So... 我想变漂亮！

Though, spending $30 on a freak'n eyeliner brush... that's kinda ridiculous, don't you think? My friend says the better the brush, the more expensive... $30?!! Oh pleaseeeee~~ I'd rather use the paintbrushes that I have for Art instead! Why is makeup so expensive?? Ahhh!

So, I got back to San Francisco before noon... only to find the town home, that I'm sharing, a complete mess! The destruction of my house made by very own roommate... =[ Well, at least she cleaned the dishes after she finally woke up, around 2pm-ish. 我要写中文因为我的室友会看见我在讲她。她真得很爱睡觉。一天，她大概睡十六个小时。哎呀！妓女。。。真是的。tsktsktsk... 可是跟我别的室友比，我发现我比较喜欢她一点点。怎么办?! 还有两个月就可以搬家了! 那时候,我就好高兴! 加油加油!

Okay, well... I need to get my work done before tomorrow... with or without my flaky friend. Bye bye!